DETROIT — OK, now where were we?

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks, and I seem to have lost my place ...

Oh, that’s right.

We were at: “FIRE LEYLAND!!!!!!”

Right? At least I think that’s where we left off.

And, it’s completely understandable. I mean, if the Tigers can’t even get past the White Sox in their own division, he completely deserves ...

What’s that? The Tigers sped past the ChiSox in the final 16 games of the season? Hmm. Well, that’s only because the Pale Hose collapsed, and not anything he did, I’m sure.

And even if the Tigers do sneak into the playoffs, champions of the most rottenly downtrodden division in baseball, the AL (Comedy) Central, what’s that supposed to prove? Color me unimpressed. He’ll be on the chopping block as soon as they make their obligatory, pointless cameo appearance in the playoffs, and lose to the hottest team in all of baseball, the Oakland A’s.

Umm ... they didn’t lose to the A’s? Are you sure?

Because that’s what I have in my notes here. I’m almost positive I can make it out in the scribbles. It clearly says “Lose ... blahdiddy-blah-blah ... A’s” right there. I think.

Maybe it says “nose.”

Oh, well.

Won’t matter anyway. They’re playing the Yankees in the next round. Joe Girardi’s binder alone could out-manage this guy. At least it could call for a bunt at the right time.

Clearly they won’t be able to get past the ‘Evil Empire,’ what with Derek Jeter captaining the heck out of the AL Championship Series. Curtis Granderson hitting home runs and making game-saving catches. Robbie Cano, don’tcha know. Alex Rodri ...

What?

Seriously?

They beat the YANKEES???!?!?!?

Get. The. (Bleep.) Out.

Yougoddabekiddinme.

Really? Must’ve been some sort of blown call that handed Game 7 to the Tigers, or some such shenannigans. I really should watch more closely.

Hmm. Well, he can be fired before the World Series, right? I mean, there’s still time. He’s single-handedly running a World Series-caliber team into the ground (or so I’ve been told). He can’t possibly be allowed to manage IN the World Series. I mean, that would be hypocritical.

Or something.

Plus, if the Tigers don’t wise up and make the most obvious move in the world, it’s going to put fans in a serious, serious dilemma: How to hold the “Fire Leyland” sign in one hand, and the rally towel in the other? Maybe some Scotch tape would help. Or Elmer’s Glue.

Is there anything else missed by myself and all of the people who decided to ‘boycott the Tigers,’ until they were served their pound of managerial flesh?

A Triple Crown? When did they trade for Carl Yastrzemski? I didn’t know he was even still playing.

A complete-game shutout in a winner-takes-all playoff game? Is that Sandy Koufax wearing No. 35 for the Tigers?

A Don Kelly playoff walk off?

Oh, come on. For Pete’s sake. That’s not even funny. Stop it. Next thing you’re going to tell me is that Donnie lifted up Prince Fielder in celebration.

You guys aren’t any help.

I still have yet to have it explained to me how these people possibly think they can win with Jhonny Peralta at shortstop and Delmon Young being unproductive at designated hitter.

Maybe I should just ask GM Dave Dombrowski. He’s been silent on the whole Jim Leyland thing. Probably just biding his time.

Dave, what can you say about your manager’s future?

“He is the best manager in baseball, right there. That’s what you can say.”

Umm ... OK. Not the direction I expected this to go.

But you’re going to show him the door in the offseason, right? I mean, it makes it easier, because you don’t have to use the word “fire” per se, because — well, he voluntarily took a one-year extension late last season.

He’s gonzo, though, right? Different direction? New voice? Mutual decision? All that jazz?

“Jim Leyland is welcome back here and he knows that,” Dombrowski said. “He’s in a situation where we want him back and I’m sure that he wants to come back — and I would think that would be the way.

“There’s a time and a place for that — it’s not right now.”

Please? Pretty please? I’d like to know.

“I think it is something I’d still rather talk about after the season. I think his preference is for us to deal with it (after),” Dombrowski said.

“We’ve known each other a long, long time, and we talk on a daily basis about a lot of different things — basically anything with the ballclub. So that’s how he’d like to handle it, and that’s how we’ll handle it.”

OK. Cool.

I see how it is. I suppose you want me to concentrate on something silly, like games on the field, rather than indulging in conspiracy theories — which, we all know, are WAY more fun.

I’m sticking to my guns, though. This can still turn out to be disappointing.

You know it can.

And besides, even Leyland admitted this isn’t a big deal.

Getting to the playoffs in back-to-back years happens every 77 years.

I’m sure HE will selfishly tell you how this is all about Jim Leyland.

Glory hog.

“Well, obviously there are some times when you think about your own selfish moments. I don’t talk about stuff like that. I kind of leave that, put it in a memory bank somewhere and some day enjoy it, look back on it,” Leyland said after the Tigers swept the Yankees in four games in the ALCS. “But I don’t really — to be honest with you, I never talked about the Manager of the Year awards or World Series. I don’t really care about stuff like that. I appreciate it, but I don’t care about it. The players need to be the focus, and I always tried to leave it that way.

“I think all good managers have one thing in common: When you win, you credit the players, and when you lose, you shoulder the responsibility.”

All, right. All right. So, one time he went all magnanimous.

I’m sure that’s not what he said when the Tigers clinched the playoff berth. You know, when he usually tears up, to draw more attention to himself.

“I talk about this all the time. This is about the players. This isn’t about Jim Leyland, or the coaches. This is about the players. You don’t win unless you have them. We won because we got good players. Believe me. I’d like to say that I had something to do with it, but I don’t believe that. I think there’s a lot of guys that could’ve managed this team and done well. I’m fortunate enough to have had the true privilege to manage the Detroit Tigers for as long as I have,” Leyland said when the Tigers wrapped it up.

“I’ll never forget it.

“Brian Britten (the Tigers’ director of media relations) told me tonight I’m the only manager that’s taken the Tigers to postseason three times, except for Hughie Jennings, and I’m proud of that. So be it. This isn’t my show, this is about the players. This is about the three million people, and probably a lot (more) of them that couldn’t afford to come, that didn’t show up, but were with us in spirit every night.

“I thank you for that.”

The people with the tar and the feathers?

You’re thanking them?

Huh.

Color me confused.

Hasn’t Leyland admitted that he didn’t do a good job? Like recently?

“I don’t know. You tell me. I’ve underachieved all year,” he said Monday, when questioned about his team’s underachievement, as they sullenly worked out in preparation for a disappointing trip to the World Series. “There’s two of us still standing. You know, it’s never going to be good enough for some people. We were fortunate enough to win this one. And if we don’t win the next one, this one will be a fluke.”

I TOLD YOU SO!

See?

Wait. He was smiling when he said that? Was that supposed to be sarcastic?

Oh, great. Everyone’s a jokester now.

His players hate him, though. I know they do.

“He’s awesome. He’s awesome. I love the guy. I banter with him all the time. We go back and forth,” Phil Coke said. “We have a lot of fun with each other — well, I have a lot of fun with him; maybe he doesn’t have that much fun with me. I don’t know.”

I ... uh. I ... well, OK, wait. Explain that, Phil.

“He handles me very well. I am definitely the type that isn’t very forgiving when it comes to small things, like walking around with your shoes off or something like that. I will get on you. And he handles it pretty good,” Coke said.

“Honestly, he’s phenomenal dealing with the pitching staffs as far as like making sure there’s days off when they’re needed. And letting you go. If he is watching you, he is paying attention to your pitch count and everything like that. If he has a decent feel for what’s going on with you, he’s either going to let you go or going to pull you out.

“He does a really good job of managing the game for us and making the right call on a regular basis as to how he’s feeling and how he sees guys performing and so on and so forth.

“I don’t think he’s earned the need to be questioned so much.”

DO NOT QUESTION MY RIGHT TO QUESTION!!!!!

Oh, one more thing, though, Phil.

What did he DO? I mean, to make all this happen?

“Let us play,” Coke said. “Let us play, and kept his confidence in us, when everybody was saying everything bad about us.”

Pfft. Who does that?

How hard can it be, anyway? He was GIVEN a World Series-caliber roster, remember. Like a Yankees manager, or something.

“I think that you’re in a position where, when it’s a grind, to keep the guys grinding day-in, and day-out, that’s something that’s not easy to do. There was so much expectations of this club, to be in the position where you grind ...” Dombrowski said.

“I talked to Joe Torre about this, and he said, one of the most difficult to get a group together is when you bring in new star players. Just blending everybody together. Jim, as the year went on, with the staff, was able to do that.”

Well, that’s what you tell US. How about what you guys tell the rest of the world?

Probably tell ‘em it was easy, right?

“We got beat up pretty good. And I think sometimes, the expectations on the outside aren’t the same as the expectations on the inside. ... I don’t think people realize how hard it is to win a Major League game. They don’t have an appreciation of how tough it is. So we took some pretty good hits this year, and I did in particular — and rightfully so — because the expectations were so high,” Leyland said on ESPN’s popular “Mike and Mike in the Morning” radio show.

“We just stayed the course. We never changed.

“That was the big thing. If I did anything right this year — and, I guess, according to most Detroit fans, I didn’t do much right — if I did anything right, it was that I never veered off in another direction. We just stayed after it, and I kept reminding everybody, ‘Let’s just wait until the end of the season to see if we underachieved. Let’s not put the cart before the horse.’ ...

“We finally got it done. We finally came together at the right time. I think the big thing was, we never lost faith in each other and we believed in each other, and we believed we could get it done. And we did.”

Maybe Phil Coke is right.

Maybe he’s the voice of reason in all this.

Maybe there is no apparent reason for Jim Leyland to take all the abuse, all the crap he does here.

Maybe I wasn’t serious about any of this up until the last few lines.

No maybe about this, though, and no joking around: If Jim Leyland wants to be back next year, wants to go through all this again, it’s his call.

You could understand how he wouldn’t.

But he’d be more than welcome back in a lot of quarters.

Including this one.

Email Matthew B. Mowery at matt.mowery@oakpress.com and follow him on Twitter @matthewbmowery. Text keyword “Tigers” to 22700 to get updates sent to your phone. Msg & data rates may apply. Text HELP for help. Text STOP to cancel.